Making sense… (somehow)

What?!? What do you mean it’s over?” I freaked out. “Look, I’m sorry. You know I wouldn’t want to hurt you Jess. But we both know this isn’t working anymore.” Ronnie explained. ”We both need some time and space, you know, search for ourselves.” He continued. I didn’t know what to say that moment. Is he right? I asked myself.I went home early that day. The streets were quiet; there were no vehicles around. Suddenly, I heard my name from behind. “Jessica, wait!” Art was shouting. “Hey, buddy what’s up?” I greeted. “I should be the one asking you that question Jess. Ronnie told me everything.” He said. “Why do you still have to ask me when you know everything?” I answered back without looking at him. “Oh, Jess, I know you, I can feel your pain. You need someone to talk to right now.” He was holding my hand now. “You’re right. It really hurts. I mean Ronnie‘s so unfair. He left me…looking stupid, so pathetic, so defenseless and helpless…” I started to cry. “I know you’ll get over him sooner or later. I’m just here, ok?” Her reminded me. I am always thankful for Art. Where would I be without a best friend like that?

As the days passed by, I tried to live a normal life. I was determined to get over Ronnie. One time, I was scanning a magazine when the words “perfect mate” caught my eyes. My attention was focused on that page. It says, “If you can’t find a perfect mate, why don’t you create one for yourself? A mate you alone could see, talk to, hug and kiss.” Call me pathetic and crazy but after what happened to me, I think this is a wonderful idea. I could possibly get over Ronnie as fast as I could. After a few minutes, I found myself imagining my perfect lover. I saw him in front of me. He was a tall, lean, black hair, brown eyes. He was wearing a black jacket over a gray v-neck sweatshirt, faded denim and a pair of sneakers. Hmm.. What should I call you? I asked him. As I looked around thinking of a name, I saw the name Sir Nicholas on an open page of my Shakespeare book. Nicholas? It sounded like Santa Claus. Nick should do it, more like modern and sexy. ; )

I was living in my crazy fantasy world the next weeks. I imagined myself talking to Nick, going out with him. He was a gentleman, a good conversationalist and has a good sense of humor. I noticed, I was not thinking about Ronnie anymore.

One Friday afternoon, as I was going to have lunch, I met Art in the hallway. He was with Ronnie. I froze for a few seconds, I haven’t seen Ronnie since that day he left me so pathetic, defenseless… “Hi jess!” Art greeted, “Where are you going?” “Nowhere.” I blurted out, totally forgetting where I was going. “Good!” Art said “You’re coming with us then. We’ll have lunch, it’s my treat.” He flashed his begging eyes before I could even object. “Oh, alright!” I told him. I felt he was up to something. He just raised her brows, look at Ronnie’s direction then smiled at me. I grabbed his arm and whispered, “What ever you’re planning, you’ll never succeed.” He just laughed softly. Ronnie was still quiet on our way to the cafeteria. Then Art suddenly said, “Oh, I forgot, have you two met?” Nobody replied. “I guess not.” Art answered his own question. He was starting to annoy me. “Ronnie, this is my best friend Jessica, Jessica, Ronnie…” He was saying when my mobile phone rang. As I took my phone from my bag, I didn’t notice the last two steps on the stairs, so I tripped. I was about to touch the ground when I felt a hard hand clasped my elbow. I saw my phone being caught by another hand. I thought it was Art or Ronnie but when I turned around, my heart stopped beating. Nick?!? My mind screamed. I almost jumped. He was smiling the way he used to smile at me in my imagination. “Be careful next time Jess.” He said, and then winked his left eye. He turned around after he handed me my phone. I was still standing looking at him as he faded into the crowd, when I saw Art and Ronnie coming nearer. “Jess, are you alright?” Ronnie finally talked. I didn’t respond. “Who was that? Where did he come from?” Art asked. Then everyone who was around came asking if I know that guy who helped me. I was more surprised when I realized everybody saw Nick. That was impossible. He was just my imagination. I’m the only one who would suppose to see him. But how did that happen? God, what is happening to me?

The next day, I was still puzzled on what happen yesterday. I was sitting at our garden when I saw somebody coming. Nick! My mind told me. But it was Ronnie. “Jess, I need to talk to you.” He said. “About what?” I asked him. “Us..?” He replied. “Common Ronnie, you know there’s no us anymore. You broke it off about a month ago, remember?” I helped him recall. “Jess, I’m sorry. I realized I was wrong. I love you and I can’t live without you” he held my hand. His face came close to mine. His lips were warm and soft as it pressed mine. Suddenly, I felt a push. Then I heard Mary’s voice. “Hey, Jess, what are you still doing here? What’s with the closed eyes and what happen to your lips?” She asked. “Ha?!?” I opened my eyes. “Nothing, nothing.” I told her, hiding my shame. Damn!, Why am I imagining things again. I thought I already got over that habit. “Art is waiting for you outside, Jess. And guess what? He’s with Ronnie. I think he wants to see you. “ Mary said excitedly. “Don’t be ridiculous. When did Ronnie know I exist? “ I told her. Then I went outside to see Art. #

-jB -
9-18-01

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Bitin ba? To be continued kasi…

arielle Fiction, Writtings